i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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