it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
