you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
