New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
