she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
