I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
In America we eat man semen.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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