yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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