Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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