I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Of course I have a pirate flag
Terrible idea I love it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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