i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
