whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
