I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
