I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
