Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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