hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
