Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
