I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
