I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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