tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
