omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
as a side note pls kill me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
