not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
