Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
