WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
