i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
