I looked at my own cervix.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
