So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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