There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
