i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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