I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
