i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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