Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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