what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
