There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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