He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
