You're so nebulous sometimes
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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