i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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