Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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