Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
