I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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