i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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