just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
