god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
