I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
