The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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