I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
