playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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