he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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