I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
