i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
