We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
