I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
