I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
